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What do you think these days as you’re living?
Recently I don’t think about anything. Not good.(laugh) Before I was thinking about lots of things, and I’m not thinking about anything now, which is maybe a reaction to that? I only think about our band. Now I can do what I want to do, so I don’t have to think about other things, nor need to worry. When I was a teenager, I was always worrying about things.
What did you worry about?
Well, about everything.(laugh) I didn’t understand the meaning of going to school or study, like “Why do I have to go? Why do I have to do this?”. I hated everything that was pre-determined like school, because it was not my will, and I couldn’t understand the meaning why I would have to go, so I felt that I wasted my time and rebelled against it very much. Now I think everything is necessary, even if I do something not concerning about our band directly, so I don’t have anything to doubt nor worry anymore.
You now think that because you turned your former experiences into advantages.
Maybe. Now I can be a member of alice nine. because I met Shou.
Do you feel like your life is restrained by something invisible and cosmic?
I don’t feel restrained. I believe in fate more than before. I feel like everything is connected to alice nine.. Since I started alice nine. I had various experiences of defeat, failure and reflection, but all of them were going in a good direction for me, that’s why I feel like that.
Yes. Like that, your meeting with a guitar is also fate or destiny so to speak.
Yes. I really think it was destiny, because I met the guitar and rock, which was sudden. In my 6th grade of elementary school, my friend bought a guitar, since then my rock life started as I was forced to be a band member.(laugh) There weren’t members, and my friend said “I’ll play guitar, so you’ll play bass.”, I started to play bass which my friend had. And I started to listen to BOΦWY and X JAPAN, as I was absorbed in Western music since I met metal music in junior high school. Meeting the guitar and music changed the people who I met, I think. See, people who like rock are called ‘hooligans’ (laugh), I won’t say everyone is, but many are bad and a little crooked.(laugh) Actually my friend who introduced me to the guitar in elementary school wasn’t normal at all. Usually elementary school students seem to want to buy games which cost about 1,000 yen, but he had a guitar and a bass that cost about 20,000 – 30,000 yen, which wasn’t common at all. My parents watched on TV that X-JAPAN broke a drum set, and said to me “Don’t watch!”.(laugh)
Which band did you listen to for the first time?
METALLICA and PANTERA.
Wow, those are really heavy metal.(laugh) And slash kei. Why did you feel attracted to them?
In metal, guitars are big. Anyway they are fast and heavy, and their guitar sounds stand out, which shocked me.
That’s true. I was absorbed in metal too in my junior high school, so I understand you (laugh), like “Wow, what’s this!?”. At that time I didn’t know how to see the music especially like ‘The guitar riffs are….”, so it was like “That’s awesome! What’s this!”.(laugh)
Yes, yes, yes.(laugh) It was just shocking like “Wow~~, it’s so cool!!!”. Then I was totally absorbed in guitar, since then I became obsessed by it.
So you found a reason to live, so to speak?
No, not quite. I worried a lot about entering high school “Why do I have to go to high school?”.
The origin of your worrying was really about following established rules.
Yes. My parents were quite strict, especially about my studies and education. I advanced to high school and distanced myself from the guitar. I lost my confidence.
Did you loose your confidence? For the guitar?
Guitar too, in my junior high school I was crooked and tried to put on airs. I could play guitar, did quite well at school because my parents were strict, and I had enough power among my friends, so I was a little over confident. But when I entered into high school, I had seniors and I had setbacks then. I entered into a rather bad high school too, so I tried to blend in with those around me, and I always struggled.
But usually such a struggle or stress is relieved by music, right?
It wasn’t like that for me. By contrary, I stopped the guitar, and then I didn’t have any way to release stress. I was also in a group of hooligans, and I couldn’t stop going to school to keep up with them. So I was struggling for 3 years. I started playing guitar again after I graduated from high school. When I decided my future, I decided that I would play guitar properly again, and went to a collage for about 1 year, then I couldn’t feel or understand the meaning to study in school, and decided to make a band to continue playing guitar. But I couldn’t find members for about 2 years, and was irritated. I had a high ideal for my band, because I didn’t want to do my band by half, so it took me quite long time. I felt the possibility for a band when I met Shou. Until then, I was always struggling and worrying about “Is it really OK for me?”.
How did you meet Shou?
Another guitarist who played with me in a band, had played in a band with Shou before.
How did you meet the another guitarist?
A friend of mine, who played in a band in junior high school, knew a senior, who knew a junior. It was so complicated.(laugh) Now I think the meeting with the senior was also destiny. He was 2 years senior to me, and one day I was in elementary school when I was riding a bicycle, you know the ones with the basket at the front, and suddenly a senior jumped out at me and demanded my bike. He then put fallen leaves into the basket, set them alight and ran off (laugh). That was the first meeting with him. Then I entered into a junior high school, and in a school festival the senior played guitar in his band, and I said “That’s that guy!”. Then my friend who introduced me to the guitar became a friend with the senior, then we 3 became to play together.
It was such an unnatural meeting that I feel like it was rather inevitable.(laugh)
Yes.(laugh) I learnt to play the guitar from him. He was so good that he didn’t seem like a junior high school student. He aimed to make a professional band, but he died…. Well how can I say he died by an accident or a suicide. I regretted that very much. I might seem cold because I didn’t go to his funeral. Since we each started bands respectively we hardly saw each other, and I heard from others that he died. One of the reasons was his band wasn’t going well. And he was depressed. But whatever his reasons, I thought it was wrong to kill himself, so I didn’t go to his funeral. I’ve seen various people or hooligans as I was among them. Many knew the same pains from their complicated home environments, however, I was a little different from them, because I grew up in good environment with both parents lacking for nothing. But because I grew up together among them, I knew various pains and weaknesses, I think. They knew I was not the same kind of man who really knew their real pains, but they were my friend. Now I think it was also destiny to meet them. If I hadn’t of experienced all this, and been what I was in high school I wouldn’t be me now. I think that this is the period that I really become the real me.
I understand. Is there any message from the present you that you would like to extend to readers?
If the present me can look back and say something, it is that there is nothing useless in lives. Even if we think it useless, it really connects us to something, so I want you not to give up in a way. You don’t have to do things to express, but I hope you live with all your might, which I think is absolutely necessary in life.
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